Most people feel awkward with silences: if there is a gap in the conversation there is an attempt to fill it with small talk. This can be a useful way to build rapport and can help to get to know your interviewer. Saying the first thing that comes into your head, however, is not small talk – and can get you into situations that are more awkward than silence.

I was interviewing with an MD of a consultancy company. The candidate was visibly nervous and the MD and I did our best to make her feel comfortable by taking some time to talk about her journey and I got her a cup of coffee. Whilst I was out of the room, the candidate became more talkative and started to talk about her family – which was fine. The candidate then glanced up around the office and saw a photo of a little girl on the MD’s desk: the candidate then said, ‘Your grand-daughter is lovely – she looks so much like you’. The MD replied, ‘That’s not my grand-daughter – that’s my daughter’. I arrived back in the office at this point to be met with two very red faces. The MD was embarrassed for the candidate and tried to over-compensate by giving a potted history of her family life – which I am sure the candidate did not hear at all as she was so embarrassed by what she had said.

The morale of this story is to think before you speak. The candidate never really gained her composure after that moment which was a shame as she was the best candidate we had for the job. The candidate did not answer any question properly or really describe her skills in any detail – I am sure she was still feeling anxious about what she had said.

So the tip is: keep your small talk small: don’t be personal or make any assumptions. If you are not sure what to say – take a deep breath and smile. If you think you have made a blunder – acknowledge the mistake to the interviewer, and then move on: if you don’t it could cost you the job.